Friday, 1 June 2012

Weepy Boo-Hoo

Weepy Boo-Hoo is any kind of writing that attempts to make a reader squirt sentimental eye juice.

Slipstreamers often include passages of Weepy Boo-Hoo into their prose works. In contemporary literary culture, Weepy Boo-Hoo is considered in a more positive light than formerly and is inexplicably associated with 'maturity', a fact noticed and exploited by maturity wankers, many of whom are Lit.Tharios.

The truth of the matter is that it is foolish to waste pity on the tribulations of fictional characters for the simple reason that fictional characters don't exist. Their sufferings are therefore illusory. Every individual with a mortal lifespan logically has only a finite amount of pity inside them (let's give this amount the number P) and on each occasion that pity is expended, this value decreases. When P reaches zero it will be impossible for the individual to feel pity thereafter; but circumstances may subsequently arise in which pity is needed. Why waste your pity on non-existent 'characters' when you could save it for living people or animals, or even yourself? Don't spend your P willy-nilly!