Lamblake Heinz

The archetypal bad horror writer. A fictional figure, Lamblake Heinz likes to dream ‘eldritch visions beyond the ken of mortal man’ and inflict them on innocent readers in the form of hackneyed plots embedded in crude prose. He is the ultimate Crusty Mustard and is thus the mortal enemy of the equally fictitious Glibtone Facetitious.

Example usage: “There are fifty-seven examples of appalling prose in this paragraph. Did Lamblake Heinz sneak in during the night and write it for you?”