Wednesday, 30 May 2012

Too Soon Guru

A writer or hackling who acts like a fully-fledged guru before he is properly ready to be one. To deserve the privilege of being allowed to dispense advice and wisdom about the writing world while adopting a guru’s characteristic inner pose, one first requires a minimum Beerbohm rating of 1.75.

Too Soon Gurus are frequently found ‘teaching’ creative writing to norms; ‘authoring’ How to Write documents; and ‘sharing’ wrong tips (singly or bunched in lists) on little-visited blogsites.

Among many other causes, the creation of a Too Soon Guru may be the result of pure egotism, tactical twatism, arsebollocks or monkeybation. Some Too Soon Gurus are sincere but misguided; many are lebbonizers, oblique crows or curt simians; most are twonkies.