Wednesday, 30 May 2012

Sentimental Eye Juice

The formal name for tears, those drops of water adulterated with salt and other minerals that come out of upset human faces through special ducts.

Characters in stories by girls, slipstreamers and maturity wankers often seem to lose a measurable amount of Sentimental Eye Juice during the progress of the prose tales they are encased in.

A reader’s reluctance to drip sentimental eye juice when reading ‘emotional’ books is frequently cited by tactical twats as evidence of that reader’s immaturity. Some of these dry-eyed readers may indeed be immature, but in fact it is metamaturlings who are most unlikely to waste precious bodily fluids on fictional (and therefore non-existent) tragedies.